do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
