it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
