No awkward lesbian experiences without me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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