Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
