I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
either way he was missing a nipple.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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