I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
