There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
