I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
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Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
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I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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