Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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