1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
