You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
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He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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