I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
