That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
