Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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