Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
