I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
