it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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