i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
This toilet bowl is my home.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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