I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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