Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
