I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
