Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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