I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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