Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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