My friends, they love my intelligence
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize