so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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