Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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