Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
