Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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