i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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