Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize