If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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