I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize