I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
