i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
