Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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