can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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