3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
