He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
