How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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