so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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