I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
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I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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