You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
