At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I don't deserve a penis
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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