I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
