It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
