You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
