O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
