im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again