Having a random hookup so left but love u
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.