Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?