Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.