Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.