Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
