Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
