Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
