The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
