chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
