I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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