I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
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Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
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These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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