maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
