can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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