Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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