she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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