Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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