So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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