You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
