hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
