its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
