i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
