help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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